I feel ya on the time thing, Walker. I'm generally getting maaaybe one evening home a week before the weekend and spending that and my weekend time doing homework, catching up on correspondence, doing zine stuff, that sort of thing. My housework has gone to pot (though some of that has to do with the fact that 3 of us live there and only one of us does more than sweep the stairs every few months-- if someone besides me takes out the garbage it's a major accomplishment despite the fact that I'm by far the busiest of us 3 -- okay, enough grousing), I have writing projects on hold, I'm way behind on my reading...etc. I'm trying to spend time with Stacey in all this, too. She actually just started a part-time job this week and I think it'll be great for her both financially and just in general. Her work schedule up til now has been 7:30-2:30 and so she spends 3:30 until her bedtime finding stuff to do. Granted she's had some classes but they're at a pretty cheapass community college that isn't really all that challenging and still leaves her pretty bored. This new job will give her something to do plus let me have more time to work on my stuff, so it works out well for us both. I struggle with feeling really guilty for not "entertaining" her while I'm working on various things, though I think it bothers her less than it does me, hehe.
I'll mention a couple upcoming things in case you have time for them, Walker...I'm "promoting" a couple shows in March.
March 9: Michial Farmer and Jonathon Smith
March 19: Kat Jones with Jonathon Smith and Adam Weaver opening
Michial (who I think you know of, Walker) is a friend from GA who sometimes comes up and visits on his spring breaks or whatever. He records his music under the moniker "The Shots of Perspective" and you can listen to some music at http://www.theshotsofperspective.com if you want. He's influenced a lot by people like Wilco and REM.
Jonathon is from KC...he married Kate/Katy Gutwein this past fall. His music sort of varies depending on whatever mood he's in, but he cites as influences everything from late 60's pop rock (the Byrds, Beatles, Bread, America) to 70's singer/songwriters to moodier modern stuff.
Kat Jones: check out an mp3 here...her's is the 9th down. She's on a national tour starting today. Adam Weaver is a guy from Omaha who is really pretty good, definitely more interesting and original than the standard "singer/songwriter" label usually describes.
Incidentally, Michial's in town from March 6-13...we'll all have to hang out sometime. Of course I still have work, school, etc...he's got other friends in town, though, and part of his reason for coming is just to relax rather than be constantly entertained. Good thing, hehehe. He's looking into grad school at UN-Omaha, as well.
I'm still trying to confirm for sure the times and locations but those are reeeeeeeeeeally close to being firm.
As far as Billy Bragg goes...
He and Wilco recorded a couple albums together. These took lyrics Woody Guthrie wrote post-WWII but hadn't recorded (being sick and bed-ridden)...and sets them to music. Very good stuff.
"The Office" does sound pretty funny. I've seen a couple things about it somewhere, I forget where.
I hope you both have a wonderful Ash Wednesday, as well...
--In our Culture of the 60s class, we had an assignment to find a protest songs from the past 20 years and discuss a few (given) questions about it. We were also supposed to bring in a copy to play for the class. After deliberating on quite a few, I ended up going with Billy Bragg's "The Price of Oil." You can actually download it right here. We had a visiting guest lecturer in class and didn't have time for many, but luckily when they asked who had brought something to play or wanted to discuss their's, hardly anyone was interested. I think only three of us went: a middle-aged woman who played "Ohio" by CSNY; another guy in class (can't remember his name!) who played a version of "Subterranean Homesick Blues" from the Bootleg Series; and me. I knew the guy's version of "SHB" had to be a bootleg or basement version because it was just acoustic guitar and vocals, plus certain parts were a bit slower than on the album version. He didn't make mention that it wasn't the regular version but I mentioned to him after it played (we could make comments or whatever in class) that it's cool someone did a bootleg version and he seemed genuinely surprised that someone would even notice. hahaha. He also talked about the video for it and by then figured that I'd seen it. Hell, I have it on a tape somewhere at my house. I think most people didn't realize it was supposed to be from the past 20 years, but whatever, the Dylan song was great. Anyway, the profs had heard Billy Bragg and thought it was cool I brought in something by him. Once you hear the song, you'll realize it pulls no punches and is quite accusatory and condemning of US foreign policy, support of certain causes, and the Bush Administration in general. Bragg also uses the word "shit" fairly liberally (no pun intended, haha) in the song and talks about how the US supported Hussein, Pinochet and Bin Laden, then says that between that and the Florida election, something isn't right (something like that). Granted this IS a public university and an English/Journalism "Humanities" class, but it's still NEBRASKA and therefore I think a good number of the class was a bit rattled. On the other hand, the Bootleg SHB guy came up and asked if I'd make him a mix tape or something. Anyway, listening to this song and the Mermaid Avenue stuff has really turned me on to Billy Bragg.
--The other music-related thing is a show we went to last night. Tickets both went on sale and were gone in late December so it was a sort of "long-awaited" thing, I guess. The show is basically 2 frontmen of pretty reputable, talented, and quality independent bands plus a guy who generally tours with a band but is a solo act. The latter, M Ward, leans pretty heavily on John Fahey for influence but incorporates quite a bit of his own originality into his songs and music, plus a bit of ragtime and that sort of thing here and there, as well. Jim James fronts an outfit out of Kentucky called My Morning Jacket. Their music is really a sort of psychedelic folk/country type sound -- plenty of distortion and fuzz and long hair flying, but still very rooted and thoughtful. The third, Conor Oberst, is aka Bright Eyes and usually tours with a full band but does the occasional solo performance (I saw him do one this past May at a local peace rally) -- He's from Omaha and while originally the cream of the crop but still embedded in the whole "emo" genre, has really switched directions and gone for a more mature, creative sound, implementing self-aware but world-conscious lyrics and both orchestral and more folk/country sounds. He's not as "underground" as he used to be, having been called "a young Midwestern Bob Dylan of this generation" or some tripe like that by Rolling Stone. His lyrics have actually become a bit more Dylanesque over the past couple of albums (well, counting his last one and all the new songs he's written for the next one and played last night, that is). Anyway, these guys all did solo performances (though there was a sort of journeyman musician supporting them on steel guitar, mandolin, other instruments) along with some songs with each other. The show was amazing, one of my favorites ever now, I think. Jim James did a killer version of Willie Nelson's "Always On My Mind" and the last song they played (second song for their encore) was a collaborative version of "Girl from the North Country," which is a song I really dig. They just absolutely nailed the song and its spirit and hopefully a bootleg version will pop up that I can share with you guys. Anyway, just thought I'd post this and let you know that indeed, good music is still around and thriving.
I'll try and work on a way for you guys to check some of this stuff (by these artists, if not the show itself) out.
The idea about sort of contrasting The Passion with the sort of glitz 'n glam is a really great idea, Jeff. There's this guy in our office quite a bit (we work with Student Government a lot and he's in that) and he asked if I wanted to go to a screening that's actually Tuesday night. He told me he's a part of Fuel Omaha, a sort of big group of "young adults" that meets and, you know, you probably get the idea from the name and the "young adult" part. Anyway, he invited me to come along and I told him that I have a church thing going on that night but I'd probably see it sometime soon. He made some remark about "well, your church thing should be going to see The Passion"...sort of half-joke, half-serious. Of course, that "church thing" is a Seekers Class type thing that Stacey and I go to ( I went through a much more extensive one but it's nice for her to have someone else there with her, plus I can always learn more and relearn things!). I actually asked Fr. Stephen about his take on The Passion and he just sort of said that hey, it's just a movie and probably wouldn't change much for him. I thought that was pretty funny. He did bring up the point that it's very indicative and representative of the sort of aesthetic and mentality much of Western Christianity had hundreds of years ago, where the art was VERY focused on the "realism" and graphic elements of the Crucifixion. Of course, we know ol' Mel is sort of locked into that mentality, too. What's not really mentioned on most places (because they don't know it) is that he's actually a part of what is technically non-canonical in the RC Church as far as the group he aligns himself with and seems to be very much a member of.
Anyway, back on the whole church thing...it's rather interesting that while mainstream Protestantism/Christianity (this including folks who go to pretty mainline Protestantism churches) are pretty cool and supportive of this whole mega-church thing, people on somewhat different sides both feel quite a bit of concern and near-opposition to it. You mentioned Beth's parents...my parents definitely aren't down with it. My dad and I occasionally share snide remarks regarding it, in fact. I think that while the more "conservative Protestants" and then others of us (we really should coin some term or something) who tend to be very conservative liturgically and theologically yet are branded "liberal" socially usually find ourselves polarized on many many issues, at the root of all that (and the reason we ARE polarized, oftentimes) and this mega-church issue is the idea of purity and integrity when it comes to church or The Church, and essentially a search for Truth. While most conservative Protestants aren't necessarily "searching" (and in fact would be very opposed to describing themselves as such), the Truth is important them, albeit a somewhat twisted, distorted version at times. I mean, at the heart of legalism is a desire to be holy, and it's easy for us to forget that. Anyway, I just thought I'd toss that out for possible discussion. I know that that realization has been very much the basis of finding quite a bit of common ground and beautiful discussion between my parents and me. My dad was quite concerned and skeptical about my delving into Orthodoxy but warmed to the idea and became interested (on a different level) himself when he realized that essentially I was trying to connect with the apostolic church, the teachings of Christ, and the Truth.
Sounds like he went to Granger Community Church. That's the huge huge one over there.
I admit/agree that there IS something compelling about the appearance of "cultural relevance," even if the glitz and the glam and the "stage production" mentality is a turn-off, but a mostly preferential one. One thing to keep in mind -- and this may or may not be something that makes a difference or even applies to Alan -- is that while these folks make reference to contemporary culture and utilize it in their own presentations, there's a sort of conflict of aesthetic and lack of ability (or willingness) to understand and fully represent the perspective of those creating the art. This may not matter a whole lot in the case of using a Britney Spears or Creed song, but people like the Beatles, Dylan, the Simpsons...they're saying more than what's on the surface. I mean, let's look at the example given of "Eleanor Rigby." Of COURSE it's about "lonely people" and "searching," but it sort of bothers me that a more complex song would sort of be reduced to something simplistic and, thus, opened up to misinterpretation. This is snobby and elitist of me to say, but odds are I'm giving the preacher too much credit and he wouldn't really "get it" anyway, but that is a big concern to me.
Most importantly, though...while cultural references is attractive and not a bad thing, the problem I have with this sort of church is that it's straying from the whole point of church in the first place...the Eucharist. If you look at the early Church, the crux, the reason they met, was to celebrate the Eucharist. Even if liturgical integrity isn't an issue (I would argue that to a certain extent it IS), the Eucharist is what many were martyred for practicing, and has been at the very center of the Church since The Last Supper in one sense, yet has REALLY been at the center since the beginning of Judaism.
Okay, the office just got chaotic...and I have training this afternoon. That was the major thought I had, though.
Thanks much for your post, Jeff. And yeah, it's funny because I absolutely love the Mass. It's funny, I get a twinge left over from my old Baptist days that keeps grinding, "you need to go there or you're not so good," if you know what I mean...but completely separate of that, I feel incomplete if I don't go. I think it's a very natural part of me (if only getting up on Sunday mornings were!). Part of it that I left out of my original post is that I teach Sunday School most Sundays for almost an hour before Liturgy. It's two middle-school age siblings who won't keep quiet, show their boredom very openly, and are intelligent, basically good kids who are of the inescapable age and mentality that church is a boring drag. I really like them both on a personal level and enjoy talking with them, but lesson time just feels horrific. Fr. Stephen assures me that in years to come they'll remember my kindness and patience and hard work to teach them...and deep down I know this...but I can't pretend that it doesn't leave me a bit frustrated and rattled going into the Liturgy, in part because by the time their dad comes and "gets" them, there's barely enough time for me to hit the bathroom, go up 2 flights of stairs, vest and get ready to chant. Anyway, it's not some huge burden or anything, but is a factor.
Anyway, I really appreciate your post. I do have some thoughts on your Alan posts and have been thinking about it throughout today, but my mind is exhausted so I'll do better to work on responding to that tomorrow.
I do think it's interesting that non-Active types still observe Lent. That says quite a bit about a sort of understanding in our culture that asceticism on some level is a great thing yet without really grasping the true spirit or reason for it. Still, that's a positive thing.
Our church usually does a Stations of the Cross service weekly, as well. I'm not sure when it is yet but seems like it was Friday last year. It's absolutely beautiful, I agree.
Lent, while always important, is very important for me this year. Having "converted" almost two years ago now and always having quite a bit going on in my life both constantly and in these past two years, I've reached a point where I'm battling stagnancy. I remain as dedicated as always, but I feel as if I'm more tenuously "hanging on" than actually proceeding down any kind of path. I pray, but not as often as I want to, not the way I want to pray. What I feel inside me hasn't changed, and I don't feel any sort of need to "renew" or "rededicate" or any of those words that can be both cheesy and real. However, I'm not living the way I want to be or the way I believe I'm meant to be. I don't feel guilty or "backslidden" about any of this, and it's been important for me these last couple years to not load on the restrictions or demand certain things of myself in order to claim a status because doing so would have been more a return to legalism than ascetic practice. However, the line between "legitimate, solid reason" and "excuse" is getting blurry. Besides the dietary observances, I'm want to set guidelines for myself and just make sure I'm acquiring a solidity to things like prayer, meditation and reading. This is a case of me probably having 1 "talent" of self-discipline in my possession, so to speak, but I pray for God's grace and strength to increase on that.
Okay, response to the next big post on spirituality, Anglicanism, Catholicism, Orthodoxy, etc.
I think your reasons for averting both RC and O are understandable and I don't really fault you for either of those.
And don't worry, I don't think there's any Orthodox Vs. Roman Catholic fight really going to happen here. I think Jeff's closer to Orthodoxy than most Roman Catholics and I tend to cite Roman Catholics as fairly influential in my conversion to Orthodoxy, and I doubt either of us has any interest in trying to "win" some argument. I'm willing to share why I chose Orthodoxy over Roman Catholicism, I suppose, but I don't think that's what your post is about at all and it's still not terribly easy for me to voice, to be honest with you. All I know is that Catholics are going to hell, just like homosexuals. (Sorry, I HAD to just once).
As far as books go:
I have Becoming Orthodox by Peter Gilquist and am more than happy to let you borrow it. The other two sort of contemporary staples for researching Orthodoxy are by Bishop Kallistos (Timothy) Ware, an Englishman (raised Anglican) who converted to Orthodoxy, eventually becoming a priest, then a monk, then bishop. His book The Orthodox Church examines Orthodoxy and Christianity in general from a mostly historical perspective, while The Orthodoxy Way focuses more on theological, doctrinal, and tradition aspects. Those two books are pretty easy to find (and really, I need to order them for myself off half.com or something). There are other books to check out, obviously, but those are fairly agreed-upon places to start.
One thing I'll mention here is that this coming Saturday our church is having a "Pre-Lenten Silent Day" during the morning. Matins(morning prayers) is at 8 with a low Mass at 8:30, then a light breakfast. After that, Fr. Stephen will be speaking on the Penitential Psalms. Things will end around noon, though I'm sure we'll partake in Sext (the noon prayers). Obviously you don't need to be there at 8 if that's too early (shoot, it is for me, but I'll try to make it anyway) but if you want to come but can't until later on, let me know and I'll shoot some directions your way. If some Sunday you'd like to come to a service, let me know...I generally teach Sunday School at 9 but not every Sunday. Stacey and I actually sit up in the balcony because that's where the cantors (of which I am one) sit, and it might be kind of nice for you if you just want to observe without being in the middle of things.
Anyway, I'm about 10 minutes from classtime and gotta take off...
All right...in between work and class I'm going to try and catch up here. GREAT stuff posted lately!
RE: Girl Stuff (Walker's 6 February post)
I think your sort of self-analyzation is very insightful and I highly relate to that. I know that for me, I can be exposed to a thousand girls and while a part of me would say, "Okay, yes, given a chance I'd do something physical with her," I would be interested in an actual relationship with very few of them. For a long time I thought that mostly had to do with interests and surfacy things that just happened to be important to me. As time went on, I realized it had more to do with aesthetic, philosophy, and lifestyle. I realized it absolutely possible to be with someone who'd never heard of my favorite musicians, authors, filmmakers, writers, and so on...so long as she bought into what those people represent and what they're about, as long as she was someone with some depth to her person and spirituality. What you said really hits it on the head; what we look for in a woman is what we're looking for, period.
I also agree with your thought that it's time to move on, not just aimlessly, but toward "something."
That said, I think that often these sorts of things are meant to remain a step-by-step process and path rather than something you can view with specific long-range goals. I mean, you KNOW that, but sometimes it's nice to hear it. I think that we as Seekers, being attuned to "becoming who we ARE" and all, go through enough realizations and path-alterations that sometimes the best thing is to be "unchained" in a sense. That probably sounds like absolute bullshit from someone with a steady girlfriend, but even the best relationships complicate and impede "the Search" in some ways. I don't mean that in a negative way, and I suppose it's more accurate to say that truthfully they siphon "the Search" into different directions than perhaps one is used to, but I guess what I'm saying is that if there is any "destiny" or "pre-destiny" at ALL in these things, perhaps where you're meant to go in your journey at steps thus far and in the present would have been much less possible had there been attachments. Again, that may just be bullshit, but that's just my experience and perspective.
That probably all sounds trite but I really hope not. This is one of the few things that I guess is harder to type about, hehehe.
Here's a parodic interview with Jerry Jenkins, co-author of the Left Behind series.
This all makes me want to make a site with no intent other than to bash the series. Down, Joel, Down!
http://www.thedoormagazine.com/jenkins.html
Sorry to be so AWOL the past few days, guys...With a full-time job and school in swing, things can fluctuate quite a bit in terms of how busy I am. Being a new position at work, I'm still sort of being cautious and testing the waters just a little at a time in regards to things like online use, blogger, personal emails, and so on.
So much I want to comment on! I might try tonight after class and then going over to Stacey's, if I don't collapse first, hehehe. If not, I really do plan to this weekend.
Well, the Passion film is being heatedly discussed on the Vagrant Cafe Culture forum right now.
http://www.vagrantcafe.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1891
I think Carter set it up so that that's one of the forums that someone needs to be a "privileged member" in order to use (all that means is someone paid a $5 one time fee -- it isn't a greed thing, we did it to help pay for the software we yearly license and upgrade in order to have a board), but I can waive the fee and send carter a note to give you access to the forums, if you want to comment. There's some well-intentioned misunderstanding of Catholicism going on in the thread, some of which I'm not properly equipped to respond to. I'm about to begin what will inevitably be a mammoth, somewhat time-consuming reply that may take the better part of the morning )not that it will take that long to think and type out, but being at my job and all, just getting to it a little at a time).
Yeah...the unfortunate but typical response to your (challenging Calvinism) post really sort of ignored the issue and went the way of posting Bible verses; some decontextualized, others delivered through the strainer of Calvinism rather than alongside it. I'm still working myself back to being able to contribute more to that sort of thing; it's frustrating and very difficult to discuss something with good people who aren't yet able to peek outside the narrow cycle of thinking that results in what they say.
Good luck on the wisdom teeth thing...I remember that as a fun time in my life. I'm still trying to think up reasons to get a Vicodin prescription again one of these days.
I'd really love to see Decahedron in Des Moines. Johnathon emailed and told me I should get over there and I told him I'll try, so I'm going to try...Homework's a constant, I work at 8am and this weather's unpredictable so I'm not sure how it'll work out, but I'd at least like to give it a shot. We're planning an interview with the band if I make it.
And yeah, I got onto the site okay. We're not shutting you down or anything. : )
I've been thinking quite a bit on the rest of what you posted...I'm not sure I have much to say yet as it's all still really bubbling around in my head, but just know something should be coming your way about it.
Right now I'm reading (for my Culture of the 60s class, though I've been wanting an excuse to read it anyway) They Marched Into Sunlight, a book focusing on several days in 1967 when both a major battle in Vietnam and a pretty major protest in the US occurred. It's over 500 pages long and draining my weekend, but then again, this is my idea of a good time! The author maintains a fairly professional level of objectivity and does a really great job of portraying people on all sides of various conflicts, touching on complex, intricate issues within the idealogies of various degrees of those both pro-and anti-war. He very obviously researched this book (it's non-fiction) and spends a significant amount (but not too much) of time delving into various backgrounds, histories, political ties (and eventual accomplishments, in some cases) that really illuminate the significance of these people and what was going on at the time.
A person he discusses partway into the book is Ronald Guy Davis, leader of the San Francisco Mime Troupe,
apparently a pretty popular and visible group amongst the hippie anti-war counterculture.
The author quotes Davis as saying the following:
"The greatest error of the hippie movement is its amateurism, its innocence, and its ignorance. The result I presume of allowing everyone a creative soul. A good assumption under a strict artistic rule -- but a bad one where all rules are discarded and all discipline, art, creation or tension are thrust away. The hippie generation with its acceptance of all with no values, no judgments, is impossible, nay stupid. To attempt to make no judgments is to deface oneself into a mere potato -- just as the style of culture called entertainment does. The object is to produce mashed potatoes for mashed potato heads. All soft, thickly packed, soft gooey and heavy. Where there are no standards or comparisons or judgments we achieve no style, we receive trash called art, superficiality called inspiration."
Besides the food for thought this statement provides in various realms in which we all are at least somewhat interested, I think this greatly touches on something Jeff and I talked about at length on Christmas break; how does one striving for purity, holiness, and legitimately engaged in The Search within a Christ-based paradigm, reconcile the interest and study of the Beat Generation and 1960s (and beyond) counterculture, and even involvement therein?
I'm still really stewing on all this (and haven't read past this part in the book because I HAD to bring it up here immediately!) and don't have much of my own personal insight to add yet, I suppose. Just something I'm really thinking quite a lot about (in addition to what Walker brought up yesterday) and thought I'd mention.
Not too much other than, as Walker knows, snow's dumping on us again.
Every month, just about, I do a monthly column. I was poking around a couple Dave Van Ronk sites and realized that in just a few days, it'll be the anniversary of his death. I got thinking maybe I'd like to do a column, at least, on him...maybe a regular article later. Anyway, any great info sources pop in your head right away, Jeff?
Also, what's the name of that place where we saw him in Valpo? My memory is shoddy...which guy was it that we went to a bar/restaurant with later on after a show?
Anyway, thanks...
and Jeff...sounds like rough times...you, Peter, Cecilia, your mom, Beth...all of you are in my prayers...I look forward to hearing good updates soon. : )
One other thing...in the newest issue of Rolling Stone (the Beatles are on the cover) there's an article about our wacky pal Tim LaHaye. Pretty informative.
